Last weekend I rifled through my Leaning Tower of Music (to do: organize this over Christmas break) to find the violin part for "Meditation" by Massenet. In a rush to think of some easy listening for church I actually suggested to the pianist that we play this for communion. I draw the line at the Pachelbel Canon, though. I've only played 2 weddings for which I was not required to play the Canon--even E., who promised me that I wouldn't have to play it for her wedding in 1998 (?), was thwarted by her dad, who requested that it be played as the special music during the ceremony.
But I digress. As I was disassembling the Tower, I came across 2 score sheets from some competition or jury or something I had played...sometime in the past. Maybe in college? No names, no dates, no hint of what piece I played for these people.
Adjudicator #1 said:
Very good in general. Very well prepared and sensitive. What I think you can search for is more power in the sound and in the interpretation. I am not speaking of loudness. When the bow moves too fast it is hard to get a "paste" in the sound. Without that "paste" it is very difficult to create intensity and drama in the interpretation. Whether by this or other methods if you can intensify your performance it will become very impressive.
And #2 said:
Fine musical interpretation, strong & solid execution. Good finger technique, clean & fleet. Strong tone.
As I read these I had a flashback to me in my teens and twenties, or really to any time before age 26, when paralysis chilled me out pretty quickly. There's nothing like being disabled and diagnosed with an incurable disease to make you understand what you really need to worry about and what doesn't matter. Back then I needed to work on tone. And relaxation. Reading these comments now I can see that both people were talking about the same thing that I've been working on myself and improving in my violin students: a particular focused relaxation and ease with the instrument that lets the violin become a vehicle for self-expression.
The problem was, back then I was uptight and my playing was uptight and you can't just take an uptight person and say "now relax" and have it magically work. I needed to be told how to relax and no one could tell me how to do that. This is my problem with most violin teachers anyway--there are tons of teachers out there who are amazing musicians but who can't tell you how to do things because somehow they just were able to do them naturally. I want to be the teacher I never had, one who is able to tell my students exactly how to trick their bodies into attaining that beautifully balanced, calm state, where muscles do only as much work as they need to do and playing the violin feels comfortable.
I don't think I've gotten there quite yet as a teacher. But every time I see a little spark of "oh, wow" on a student's face after doing an exercise, I have hope.