Schoolteachers' Guide to Writing Recommendations and Progress Reports
"is very social" --> distracts his classmates
"hones reflexes" --> plays Call of Duty at breaktime
"interested in diverse Web content" --> surfs Google images for porn
"has unique comments on course content" --> I don't understand what he's saying. Is he from this planet?
"understands classroom etiquette" --> if he throws LEGOs I will send him to the office
"retains childlike innocence" --> throws LEGOs (see above)
"provides unique descriptions of life events" --> says he was in the office when he comes back from break 20 minutes late reeking of cigarette smoke
"is disarmingly candid" --> "and then she was, like, 'take off your pants'. Dude, it was sick!"
Ayuh.