Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Expectations and "The Beginner's Mind"
I taught a difficult class this semester. I'll do a better job teaching it next year, and I'll make it a little easier, but actually a lot of it will continue to be difficult for our students. I'm not going to "dumb it down"; they need to know this material, challenging as it is.
Watching where students struggle helps me understand the landscape of the class, and plan ways to make it better the next time, but the most interesting observation for me was how different students react to material that is mentally challenging. An observation:
- Being a perfectionist or having an idea of what you "should" be able to do is counterproductive when learning difficult material. Practicing self-criticism while learning definitely makes it more difficult to learn, and sometimes impossible to learn.
I was lucky enough to have a few students who could take ownership of their experience, help me understand where they were struggling, and sometimes make suggestions. As I work on improving the class, I also can see that from the first day I need to prepare students for the difficulties that they will face, and try to help them quiet the internal critics a bit.
This experience also served as a great reminder for my own learning. That "beginner's mind", open to everything, especially open to difficulty, is so important to cultivate. In fact, I could take that lesson right now, as I think "I should have been able to design the perfect class the first time." Nope. Turns out it will be like most classes: better the second time, just right the third time. :-)
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Who is "Managing" Me?
Here's what's wrong with our medical system. But first, a bit about my skis.
It's a "snow day" today! D. and I went for a ski this afternoon after we shoveled out. Last week I noticed that the back end of one of my skis is delaminating slightly. This is not that surprising; I got the skis in 1988 and they've seen a lot of "off trail" use over the years despite being the longer Nordic type skis. They still work just fine. I don't notice any difference in performance with the delaminating ski. It seems to be OK.
Now, a while back I had a more than slightly delaminating brain. Or "demyelinating", I suppose. Similar sounding, eh? A 2009 MRI showed that I have the same old big lesion in there from 2001. But somehow, despite a big injury in there, I've retrained myself to do things like bike 70 miles, dance Argentine tango well, and play the violin well enough to get paid to do it. I personally notice a small difference in performance with the demyelinating brain, but most people don't. I seem to be OK.
Because I am OK, and generally healthy, I don't go to the doctor much. Last year I went for a foot problem that didn't get solved until I went to an energy healer, but that's another story. Every 4 years, though, I have to go to the doctor to have a paper signed that tells the State of Maine that I can keep my driver's license. Last time I did this it took about 5 minutes; I went to the doctor, he filled out my form, done.
This time I am a patient in a new practice. Today the NP said, "you have MS?! Who's managing that?!" Um, no one? Because I am healthier than most people I know? Apparently this is not OK. Because I have this diagnosis, I should be seeing someone regularly who will help me "manage" my "condition" [of being healthy].
Also, because I had an MRI (and thus went to a neurologist to have him evaluate it), I now have a note on my medical record from him saying he would like me to take medication, but I prefer not to, so instead he would like to see me every 6 months. Note: what he said to me was "come back in 6 months, and if everything's fine, we'll just talk about our vacations." Right. Every time I go to see him I get to pay $165 in order to sit around and talk about our vacations? I can think of better things to do with that money. So I haven't seen the neurologist either, since that time in 2009.
Today my regular medical practice person (who by the way is also not my assigned physician) wouldn't sign my driver's license form, because:
- I don't have anyone actively "managing" my conditiongood health, except for my own self
- I don't have any continuity in primary physician (this is somehow my fault?)
- A neurologist wants me on medication, though I have been fine without it for a decade, and I'm not letting him "manage" me either
The NP looked at me in disbelief today as she said, "we would just have to take your word for it [that you're healthy enough to drive]." Um, yes, I guess so. I do seem to be a walking, talking functioning person, but I could be somehow hiding something major enough that I should not have a driver's license. Sigh.
So I was sent away, told that I must go pay for an appointment with the neurologist in order for him to sign a form saying that I'm fine enough to drive. Last time those tests consisted of him testing my reflexes, making me stand on one foot, testing my arm strength, and walking with one foot in front of the other. Wow, this sounds a lot like dancing tango (except for the arm strength part).
Infuriating. Also kind of frustrating and sad to be told that I'm sick and should be "managed". I know this is normal for our system. I know these people are good people who just happen to work in this system. I am trying to not be angry at them. I know, I know, I know. But still. I am frustrated.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
It Was Going to Go to Eleven
First I thought about a 10-year anniversary bicycle to celebrate my first 10 years after being paralyzed, 10 years of hard work on my health, and 10 years of celebrating every minute of motion. In 2001 my doctor said, "you have a 50% chance of being in a wheelchair in 5 to 10 years", so the 10-year mark really stuck in my head. Maybe unintentionally, I kind of kept my head down and didn't think about it much during year 10.
Instead I decided I would "go to 11". May 2012 marks the 11th anniversary, and it would be such a dream to have a beautiful ANT twin tube mixte in a gorgeous color. And it would have an 11-speed internal hub, and I would put the Xtracycle on it and maybe make some new bags for it that would do justice to the elegant frame, and...wow. Functional fabulousness.
And it's not going to happen. I appreciated Mike's honesty. He offered some other framebuilders' names, but I'd already seen those builders' work and made my choice. I lose! Bummer.
What to do now? Celebrate the fact that, in year 11, this is the biggest problem I can come up with. :-) Yes.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Assessment, Assessment, Assessment
A colleague of mine posted a great link to Facebook recently, a radio show about how teaching by lecturing doesn't work, and some examples of better techniques.
I'm in my office at the moment, silently reminding myself "teach less, more times." And remembering, as I do any time I plan a new class, that the most difficult part of course prep is figuring out how to assess student learning.
I've done a couple of workshops on "assessment techniques", but those workshops revolve around when to assess, and how (that is, using polls with cell phones, designing multiple choice tests that include "none" or "all" as answers, etc.). But those are the easy things.
The harder thing is to figure out the different levels of nuance in a particular topic, and decide in what order they should be revealed to students, and then to devise assignments, quizzes, or projects in order to lead them to discover those levels of nuance in a way that is interesting and natural. That's what I'm doing at the moment. I'm getting better at it, but it's still a staggering amount of work. I think that sound is my brain frying...
